IN THE FIELD: The Language of The Lost

I rarely have concerns about getting lost traveling around the United States, since I figure we all speak the same language and I can always ask for directions. Although, there have been times when I did wonder if I was in a foreign country, or even in the Twilight Zone. Because I would hear the words, but they wouldn’t make any sense. It was as if they were spoken in a completely different language that only a local resident could understand.

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Here are a few of my all time classic responses when asking for directions:

Yeah, just follow the signs…[why would I be asking you for directions if I could find the signs?]

Just go down the road a piece…[how big a piece?]

It’s real easy to find…[then why am I lost?]

What do you need directions for? [Because I have been driving around the same city block for what seems like an hour.]

Just on the other side of town…[is that the right side of town or the left?]

Follow this road to the second stoplight, turn right, no go straight, no maybe its a left [bye-bye.]

Well…ya can’t get there from here…[then how did I get here?]

You’re looking for what? You want directions to where? [bye bye]

Just down the road a ways, ya can’t miss it…[well, apparently I did, which is why I am asking.]

Which way are you heading? [If I knew that, I wouldn’t be lost.]

Do you want the long-cut or the shortcut? [Dude, I just want to get there...]

Go to the last traffic light in town…[ah man, you gotta be kidding...you do know I’m from out of town, right?]

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Problem: Strangers and directions can be like oil and water…not always a good mix…

Solution: Bring a map, compass, or GPS…