IN THE FIELD: The Language of The Lost
I rarely have concerns about getting lost traveling around the United States, since I figure we all speak the same language and I can always ask for directions. Although, there have been times when I did wonder if I was in a foreign country, or even in the Twilight Zone. Because I would hear the words, but they wouldn’t make any sense. It was as if they were spoken in a completely different language that only a local resident could understand.
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Here are a few of my all time classic responses when asking for directions:
Yeah, just follow the signs…[why would I be asking you for directions if I could find the signs?]
Just go down the road a piece…[how big a piece?]
It’s real easy to find…[then why am I lost?]
What do you need directions for? [Because I have been driving around the same city block for what seems like an hour.]
Just on the other side of town…[is that the right side of town or the left?]
Follow this road to the second stoplight, turn right, no go straight, no maybe its a left [bye-bye.]
Well…ya can’t get there from here…[then how did I get here?]
You’re looking for what? You want directions to where? [bye bye]
Just down the road a ways, ya can’t miss it…[well, apparently I did, which is why I am asking.]
Which way are you heading? [If I knew that, I wouldn’t be lost.]
Do you want the long-cut or the shortcut? [Dude, I just want to get there...]
Go to the last traffic light in town…[ah man, you gotta be kidding...you do know I’m from out of town, right?]
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Problem: Strangers and directions can be like oil and water…not always a good mix…
Solution: Bring a map, compass, or GPS…
This was so nice, and I agree with you, dear David. You did a nice point. This post reminded me my Italy days, you know I lived in Milano without knowing Italian language… And always I felt myself as if I was lost in this city… Thank you dear David, have a nice day and enjoyable weekend, with my love, nia
Glad you enjoyed this NIa, I guess giving or getting directions is the same, no matter what part of the world we live in!
A fun post, David.
Glad you liked it Bob…a little something light hearted for the weekend!
What a fun post, David. I really enjoyed it
And nice photo too.
Thanks Nandini, It was a fun post to write and I am glad it brought smiles!
The photo is great but the directions? I am so cracking up here!
I think who ever drew the arrows in the snow was directionally challenged…or was thinking the same thing I was. When I saw it, I just couldn’t resist getting a quick snapshot. Even the footprints are confused! Every time I see this picture I just have to laugh…
I love your post, i almost always carry a map – then ask “where am I”? that will get you some confused looks!!!!
This happens when emerging from the subway to street level – where i am definitely directionally challenged for a couple of minutes!
but as a traveller and a photographer it is worth getting lost occassionally! happy shooting!
Glad you enjoyed this…it was fun to write! I agree…getting lost does have it’s merits…one never knows what is around the next corner! Emerging from a subway has always been a challenge for me too…lack of use I guess.
Photo is great – someone needs a refresher course on directions! I used to travel a lot with my job, domestic and international – and yes, I did get lost a time or two…or more! Moreso before we had GPS and cell phones.
When I came across the scene I just couldn’t stop laughing! Getting lost can be a good thing…there is some odd stuff in the world that gets missed unless you get off the beaten track.
It’s just as bad over here… the problem is that I’m pretty sure I have said some of those things myself! Especially ‘you can’t miss it’!
Same here Jo! I guess giving or getting directions is a universal language…”it’s right down the road…you can’t miss it!”
I love the photo – looks like someone was, if not lost, at least a little confused.
I knew I had become a “real” Mainer when I heard myself giving someone directions like this: “You turn at that gas station that’s on the way to where I used to live…” The funny thing is that they knew exactly where I meant!
Oh that is too funny Lee! I laughed out loud when I read your comment!!! Is that gas station on the left or the right?
Oh, you know the one, you can’t miss it. It’s across from that tattoo parlor that’s an antique shop now.
I love this! Remember to turn right about a mile and a half before you get to a big red barn.
Glad you got a kick out of it! Love the comment LOL!!! Is the barn after the bridge or before???
Asking for directions (or giving them) is always fraught with danger. Love the shot, although I have no idea what they mean…
Boy you’re telling me!!! Hope this post brought smiles!
Very funny David and so true!
Thanks Vickie, glad you enjoyed this one! It was fun to write…the long-cut/shortcut was told to me in Alabama and the rest are real too! Doesn’t matter where you are…it’s the same language!
I have actually started driving without a gps or a map lately in order to experience some of the situations you talk about. (Un)fortunately I am born with a very good sense of direction, which means I rarely get to ask people for directions… I hope it’s not your handwriting we see in the snow? if it is then, judging by your sense of direction, you should never leave the house without a foolproof gps
I like you are a born navigator and have a really great sense of direction…even at sea. I have on a occasion gotten turned around so to speak, and have had to ask for help. These responses are real! Oh yeah…that’s not my writing in the snow…either that person has a great sense of humor, or is directionally challenged.
You’re so right about asking for directions. Sometimes I get more lost than ever after following someone’s instructions!
I have a hard time reading maps but when push comes to shove, I’ll rely on maps more than a confused local.
*I’ll rely on maps more than I’ll rely on a confused local.
Go straight down this road and then go left, left, right left, right, straight…I know exactly what you mean! I am a map person so it’s pretty rare that I don’t know where I am.
This is an excellent compilation of unhelpful “help.”
When people say “You can’t miss it” I always want to answer “You can’t miss it, because you already know where it is, but I can certainly miss it.”
Steve Schwartzman
http://portraitsofwildflowers.wordpress.com
Thanks Steve, like I said, it’s a whole other language…or thought process! I have certainly heard some doozies…some of which are posted here. Then you have to wonder if they are telling the truth or are sending you on a wild goose chase just to be funny…in their mind. Stupid out of towners…
David, i laughed out loud reading your anecdotes, they were priceless and tue to some of my experiences. The photo said it well.
Thanks Jane, I have to admit I was laughing as I was writing them mostly because they are all true! Funny thing…I always wondered what I would do with that photo!
Great list, David. An elderly friend who lived WAY out in the country used to say this when someone stopped at his road and said they were lost: “You’re not lost. I know exactly where you are!”
Too funny…I’lll have to remember to use that sometime!!!
Love the photo and entertaining post! I have had some very scary experiences being lost, so cell phones and GPS are my best travel buddies! Thankfully, I have learned to not be embarassed when asking for directions multiple times! Excuse me, could you repeat that again but slower? I’m sure after I leave they wonder if I ever made it!
Thanks Tricia, just a little comic relief for the weekend. Funny…they are all true. I know what you mean by scary…I’ve had some scary ones at night in the city. (Philly)
I am much more comfortable in the country where we are now!
I carry with me my GPS, Cell phone, and tablet. As you can gather, my sense of direction is not so great. I’m so glad I don’t have to go to the gas station to ask anymore. Funny post! Thanks for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it Jennifer, and it sounds like you have all the bases covered!!!
Ha ha that’s so funny
I loved: ‘Just down the road a ways, ya can’t miss it…’ 
I am hopeless with directions 
Especially when I need to give them 
Glad this brought on a smile Kristina…it was fun to write. The best part is they are all true!!!